Consider this before Marriage...!

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized 2 years ago in 2013, that gives me perspective of things, is too late to place blame and as myself what would I have done different… After all, it was hard to accept, that is much easier for anyone that leaves or was never planning to stay in a relationship to accept change of new possibilities, than the one that is left to pick up the broken pieces and clean up, if your those type of guys that leaves nothing unresolved before moving to the next best thing. Losing a woman that I loved for more than half of my life, here’s the advice I wish I would have had during this process of loosing myself into things that where unnecessary. 

It does not matter the time you have spend with this woman, never forget that as time passes by, you are changing, adopting new ways to see things, experiencing new or less emotions, expecting different results with efficiency. This is because as you age you become wise or more foolish, the decision is yours; either or, we often forget that life is too short, and is not to be taken too seriously, have fun, laugh, and cherish those moments that make a difference with a smile, with a hug, a kiss, while you explore new horizons with your partner in crime, regardless of the goal. 

First things, first, this is my experience and although woman can be complex hard to understand at times, they are creatures of emotions, once they conceive the notion of loving someone, they have a unique skill to look behind the walls of your skin, read what your eyes show and feel vibrations within a touch if its sinceere or not. This has nothing to do of how you look, that is because they care less of what you are made of, for them the important part is if it feels right, they will go against anyone or anything to be with you and only you. Yes, hope that you are blessed enough to meet a woman of this statue, you will be blessed beyond expectation, you will find favor in front of the eyes of God. But there are some important factors to consider and these are:

1. Never stop courting... Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to be with you and marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. Never forget to bring her flowers or what she loved most about you when courting in the beginning and NEVER, BUT NEVER Stop flirting with her. 

2. Protect your own heart... Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. let people in with caution, and always involve your significant other in it. Most important LOVE YOURSELF FULLY, if you feel insecure, your relation will be on the loose ropes. Love the world openly, but remember that there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. Most of all, is a space assigned to your God and wife.

3. Fall in love over and over again... You will constantly change, is part of life and the process of growth. You’re not the same people you were when you met and got married, within the first two years you will learn a whole lot from your wife, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change is inevitable and will crawl on you if you are not aware or ready, remember this, you must embrace change. In such change you will question many things, objectives, goals, life outcomes, places and career opportunities in which you will have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone or something else and seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love, communication is a key element to involve her in your plans and be involved in your plans, just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always still a smile from her, see the best in her... because you are best with her, despite the outcomes in life and never forget to smile back and flirt with her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand and grow. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is a reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love and understanding that anything is possible. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, when so, know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to have this woman by your side.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not, support her in her decisions and provide that support she needs to make this happen. Woman live by trend of time, so us men, but there is a happy medium to the things we can embrace what we can become. Remember that there is a purpose for us all in this world, and the only thing that predicts that is time. 

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. This perhaps is not as easy as you may think, us men are mental analyzers, so analyze with someone with a higher profession, is part of the change to embrace, seek other options to be accountable and settle what is bugging you inside. There is nothing wrong to get assistance from a counselor for personal growth and understanding.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to breath, smile at the outcome, find and seek the best options of your most internal fears. Get back to the present to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because at some point in time you found resemblance as she was the person best suited to trigger and heal your most painful childhood wounds… when you healed yourself, you may find that you no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were. This is the time to realigned your status and take a long trip, to find new ventures together, to cherish new moments that capture a smile, that spark in her eyes and yours, remember that is a new stage to find tune to the new you and the new her. 

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to make her happy or fix it, the last thing she wants to hear is your input on how to fix things. They are most capable and qualified to fix things without your assistance, they have dealt with you all this time, trust me they are more than capable of. YOUR JOB and only JOB is to job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s okay. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean and she chooses to embark on simple splutions you are there for her. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion; in other words is like a storm inside her that will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unbiased and un-judging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET... This is what I would call facing the beast, you will be hurt if you turn your back, face her and stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she has to say, but never argue with her, is not worth the time or stress, instead offer a way to calm and revisit when she has more control of her emotions.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. Make her laugh, still a moment to play with her, to still a moment from time. Laughter makes everything else easier and is a therapeutic way to relax.

10. Fill her soul everyday… Nowadays, trust is a luxury because of society, always trust her, learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important, ask her what are her desires, what are her fantasies, change the way you make love to her, different places and times, take a little risk. make her feel validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority and make her feel like a queen.

Remember there will be times for your personal time and hobbies, never forgetting or loosing yourself in her, Is part of us to figure out and have a healthy balance between your career, family and hobby and make those small moments the most important of you and her life together. 

Just For Thoughts from a simple guy. 

No Te Quedes Tranquilo

He entendido hasta ahora que mi alma es inquieta,

Que mis intereses son inverosímiles,

Que cuando siento es porque estoy en movimiento a lo desconocido

La pareja futura que no se me ha concedido y quizás, pero quizás así este más tranquilo,

Saber que está en otra parte sin poderla conocer lo que no se ha sentido.

He comprendido, que si al lado mío

Ella siente que se salva,

No es la hora de estar tranquila,

Más bien, una mar de opciones, que te puede llevar al olvido

No te quedes al borde del camino

No congeles en tu alegria, no quieras condenarte

No te salves, no te salves ahora, ni nunca,

No te llenes de calma

No reserves en tu mundo, solo un rincón tranquilo

No dejes caer los parpados pesados como un juicio

No te quedes sin labios

No te duermas sin sueño

No pienses sin sangre

No te juzgues sin tiempo

Pero si, a pesar de todo, NO puedes evitarlo

Y congelas tu alegria y quieras condenarte

Y decides salvarte ahora

Y te llenas de calma

Y reservas en tu mundo un rincón tranquilo

Y dejas caer los parpados pesados como un juicio

Y te quedas y secas sin labios

Y te duermes sin sueño

Y piensas sin sangre

Y te juzgas sin tiempo

Y te quedas inmóvil al lado del camino

Y te salvas, si decides salvarte y lo haces

¡Entonces! Pero entonces, NO TE QUEDES CONMIGO…

  

Inspirado por Mario Benedetti, editado por Robert Gamez

A Gentleman..

I will describe the statue of a man defined by my standards. A man should be interested in a substantive and intellectually topics that can only make him better in all areas:Spiritual, Mind and Body. Yet that said, a man, need to become nonetheless compassionate and emotionally balanced, chivalry has to become a men part of code and conduct, the world does not need cold hart individuals. Although it may seem in-congruent with masculinity. An interested man should be autonomous, quite content with focusing on his current projects independently. 


A man, ambitious and goal oriented must never quite be satisfied with the status QUO, He must establish personal goals and strive the highest to achieve them. Find pleasure in accomplishing simple things or task to increase his motive in life, and learn how to choose his battles. 


An independent thinker and a nonconformist, avoiding trendy habits. Have a passion for life; and start each day with a renewed optimism and an eagerness to experience the day to it's fullest. All things must be done with conviction- and find it not boorish to elaborate but well conveyed. Any current goals and career and responsibilities must keep him busy throughout most of the year, but enjoy taking trips on long weekends and at some point in each year. 


To suggest that a man should be zealous about fitness would be to state the obvious. Isn't that true about most people that desire to be in the best shape of their life, it is a lifestyle that a man / a woman should embrace, as a lifestyle and not a chore. A man should be genuine and non-superficial, not inclined to engage in small talk (who, what, and where....) - yawn. 

A man's health in mind and fitness must be important, but most importantly his values and spirituality with the one above, in fact, all these areas must be not be part of a man chore, but rather a life style that embraces creativity, wisdom and humbleness. Besides engaging in daily exercise, he must find the time to like and spend time nourishing his brain in education and books.


He must find pleasure to seek these things and cherish with the one he chooses to be with. Yet, be very devoted and attentive to a special woman in a lifetime - fully embracing the time when spend together. Perhaps a curious woman, a woman that can have a non- trivial mental rapport, (to seek [ephemeral] relationships), but never forgetting that is part of an attraction. 


Physical attraction is important, however, the veneer of physical appearance ultimately should become less appealing for men, as the beauty becomes a quality of mind and substance in a woman. Man should find a women who is not afraid to look fit and are cerebral, that is and can be especially alluring. The woman a man of thus statue should be compatible with filling in space void not through conspicuous consumption, but instead, by meaningful activities and experiences.


If you come to know a man of such statue, you will realize that he will be very loyal, dependable, and trustworthy. If you prefer masculine men who can engage in intelligent conversation you might find it appealing with a stamp of a good man.Good luck and God bless...
Robert Gamez

What Could Have been..

There is never an easy path to what you would want to achieve in life... There are many thorns on the way, some are imposed by a domino effect some are much worst in reaction where the outcome is a web effect.

See, change is part of a NORM in life, yet we see distinction on how to measure change and evaluate this from the mechanical side or organizational stand point... We all heard "If its not broken do not fix it..."but I have also learned that if there is a better way to obtain the same results, the system is as good as broken" At the end change can become expressed as a fear, and FEAR my friend can stops most or drive a few.

As Mr. Mitt in his many motivational video speeches once said "Fear is self-imposed, fear will create you or destroy you", while you may be afraid of change, fear knows that behind every person, there is a greater one. "Fear is Self-imposed; meaning it does not exist, you create; therefore you can also destroy it, is an intangible source that can be held and toss away"

Once you face it you will realize that it was not a big deal... the change could be painful, but once you face it, your opportunities are endless, you start to wonder why you have been running away from it, it was so small, you have tasted it and you are amazed that it fulfills you.

Not only you faced the change but you also took the approach of beating fear. But what about when you experience defeat, when the outcome it was not as expected, that your planned and follow your plan and executed to your best.. what happens then? The real question is, Are you still alive from such experience? See, is only a matter of accepting defeat, you still can think, can act and re-evaluate your process, then go at it again, and again, and again, you have been shown worthy of tasting what was like to face your most dark side of all, then you'll master and become the best there is, then you will embrace and will welcome change.

Fear will come back to you, but in different form, in the form of courage. What else am I capable of, what else I can face, what else can I overcome, why did I had to run from it...?

At the end there is a simple question to embrace and truly answer: Would you face the fear of a change, or you would wonder, what could had been if I did?

Stay focus, be great... God Bless

Robert Gamez

Reflection of You?

First things first… Thank you for stopping by and taking time to reading this profile in your busy day. Remember that the world is ours... we can take it, but leave some fun for the rest of the planet..!

Would you reflect the following personality an ultra low maintenance, passionate, energetic, forward thinking, self aware, and actualization and active/athletic person who loves to explore new places, learn new things, and experience new adventures. Someone that will almost anything once... Yet, still frightened by the wonders of life at the same time still creating your own destiny… Very conscientious and fully aware of those around you such as family, friendship, love and fun may be the only things worth having. Contented in the fact that open mindedness and fearlessness takes precedence over a status Quo and understands the misleading notion of the perfect match or perfect scenario allows the sensitivity to know that you have your own things to learn to become the best you want to be... While this is for most... is it descriptive enough to say that what you are reading is imposed based on the idea of someone else...

Maybe, but maybe this is something that you may question within wanting to reflect most but you may add to this or remove some for your own benefit... at the end it aids to narrate some of your desires to be who you would want to be... Someone that reflects those positive instants or adopt such behaviour...

Yea the world is a wonderful place and life is an exciting journey to fully understand self-actualization in life. being open-minded leading to great outcomes and giving more is always better than taking, that listening powers awareness and laughing everyday is still the best spiritual medicine for your soul; in addition, you love to see people smile and laugh...

But you must ask this one question when looking in the mirror... Is this someone you would want to be or this is someone that you would like to reflect in life...? If, so what is stopping you from being that person, the only one that stops you is you, at the end we do not find ourselves we make ourselves, who would you want to be today is the reflection of tomorrow, the only opportunity you have is now, now or never, now is the difference between what was a few seconds ago and what if... because IF never got to go anywhere... think about it..!

Foward by a Friend...!

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Be impeccable with your Word
Speak with integrity, Say only what you mean.. Avoid using the work to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't take anything personally 
Nothing others so is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own realty. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering

Don't make assumptions 
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment:
it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self abuse, and regret.

Facing your Character

A man character and demeanor must at times be hard as the steel.... Be willing to face up to any outcome and rise to the occasion to be balanced and accept the truth about himself... The things he likes, excluding the virtues and values of what makes him a man, must be put on pause until compromise is accepted/encountered, for the woman he loves , but he must accept including refusing to compromise when compromise is wrong. Most importantly he must also be compassionate and kind; using physical strength, will not breach the armor of a woman's rancor or resentment like tenderness and kindness. 

As soon as the man rises up to be the man he is; not by conquering others, but to conquer him self is the true to his calling and accepting and standing toe to toe facing his flaws and fears... which will not be part of him no more. It is when and only when a real women will be revealed; it will reflect and will always be relieved to be grateful and thankful when men are willing to be men.

Finding yourself today when reevaluating your persona is a fools pathway, making yourself in the myths of your own judgment and assessment is a wise man pathway which will lead to greatness... 

Set_Backs...!

When you experience setbacks in life's outcome... remember that is only temporary..! You will be hurt, it will probably put you down you will probably cry/set you back so far that you can even see the edge of the next turn... But you must remember that this road is a simple straight road, we deviate and take tuns and get off track.

Just make sure you use the 80, 20 rule... Complain 20% and seek 80% of strength to get up and visualize your success, until even thinking about 20% of the time seems too tiring to complain, then you will find giving it all 100% to your success. The way you must see it, is just a pause before the grand finale.. You have MASTER your pain..,!

You have lived your life through the HURT - Who said that life was easy...! You are used to it, remember...! Thing about it..!, then you will realize that you have discipline yourself to succeed because you are still alive, you have another chance in life to proof of what you are made of, again, again and again... an opportunity to lean from your mistakes to take the good and leave back the useful, is time to adopt and change new ways...! To make yourself not find yourself...

See we all have a PHD and that is or called LIFE..! Be grateful and thank God for your life and for giving you the strength to be here now, reading this and thinking about an other opportunity to be humble bow your head and charge through walls.! Now get up and smile...!

There are likes and loves...!

Do not come to me with sermons and praise, I do not need them at this time, I just need appreciation and support...! Do not pretend to say something of what I already know.

I will invite you to invite me to do what ever is it you desire or maybe what I did not had the courage to ask.... I invite you so we can both refrain from criticisms and put this nonsense aside, I do not need to be reminded of my faults, I already know them well... I know you miss me and I miss you too, SSSSSHHH.... we will keep quiet and pretend that we're both strong.

There are love stories in your life time which hurt you when its present and hurt you as well when they leave you... there is also love without the pride, this makes you lose your dignity.... Your love helped me to die slowly and death taught me to survive and live fast for love. It is from a fool perspective to live today to love tomorrow, you live only once...! 

I keep hearing to not fix what is not broken, but if it could be better is as good as broken... yet I keep thinking that is because nobody here is ready for a change becasue most of the time change is forced... When love is well misused, it deserves to be set free to rest, but how would you know the the difference, it is unknown..

Please, please do not ask me to tell you what you already know,  I do not think you would want to hear what I know... You know the answers to every question of yours, unfortunately you hold the keys and if you need me to say something, well............. I already forgot.

Charge your Fears....!

Forget about the competing with others, forget about the daily struggles, each day has its own opportunity and challenges to make the best of it... That being said the only thing you can control each morning and moment is YOU ... The competition is with you, you must conquer YOU and give it your best, be better than yesterday, beat your own time, your own achievements, your own weakness...! Face your fear eye to eye, you skin may chill, you may doubt your capabilities, but know one thing, what does not kill you makes you stronger...

Robert G

Impossible only means that I'M-Possible to do whatever is that I desire and its only me that sets boundaries to limit myself or brake through... Limits / boundaries are made to be breached understanding its consequences and by doing so the only objective remains which is to conquer yourself then you can conquer all.